Being in Relationship with People is so Hard!
Good Morning! Good Day! Evening! Whenever!
Isn't communication weird?!?
I write a thing, you read a thing, I think about a thing, you think about a thing,
all at different times.
There are things I want to say, the way my experiences shape those things, the way things actually get said, the way you read the things that get said, the way you interpret the things, the way your experiences shape the way you feel about the things you're reading and interpreting.
No wonder being in relationship with other people is so hard!
AMIRITE.
Where can we look in our yoga practices to help us with the ways we communicate?
First, we just keep practicing.
Step onto the mat or do a meditation or read a little philosophy, and notice what you notice. Do it all with an open mind and open heart, notice your habits, notice how your breathing changes with new ideas or new shapes or new feelings.
Just notice. For you yourself.
As you practice noticing during your 'structured' yoga time, you might realize you're getting better at noticing when you're with others.
(SPOILER: THIS IS A LOT HARDER AND OLD-AS-SH*T HABITS ARE HARD TO BREAK SORRY TO REPORT BUT I BELIEVE IN US ALWAYS)
When I hear something that is hard to hear, how does my breathing change? What happens in my body? Can I take a breath, take a pause, not respond immediately, and notice my body?
When I hear something that is hard to hear, can I check in with what actual words were said, can I check in with how they connect to old words I've heard before, can I ask questions to be sure I'm hearing what the other person is really trying to say rather than making assumptions?
And how is my breathing.
And can I relax my jaw.
And can I soften my shoulders.
And listen again.
(LET ME SAY AGAIN IT IS SO HARD BUT I BELIEVE IN ALL OF US ALWAYS)
The first line in The Yoga Sutras (attributed to author Patanjali) reads:
Atha yoganusasanam.
Yoga is now. Now is yoga. We now arrive at a point in our lives where we are ready to wake up from our conditioning and habits and be right here.
When I hear something that is hard to hear, can I be in my yoga, by being more open to this here now rather than how it's happened before?
I can take a breath.
I can notice.
After I've done some noticing.
After I've listened.
Paused.
THEN. It's my turn to respond.
What does our yoga teach us about responding?
It teaches us non-harming and truthfulness.
Can I speak truthfully in a way that does not do harm?
(YOWZA HARD)
Tune into your breath. Tune into your gut, your instincts.
NOTICE the real and full other person in front of you.
And just try.
And take a breath.
If your thoughts are running away, if you find you're spiraling, it's always:
come back to your body.
hand on heart, hand on belly
(literal or metaphorical)
deep breath
feet on the ground
see what's in front of you
notice
yoga is now
feel your heartbeat
pick a muscle and notice how it feels, so you
come back to your body
deep breath
feet on the ground
notice
listen
soften your jaw
soften your tongue and your palate
breathe
try again
over and over and over and over.
yoga is now
each time again
each time new
each time now
deep breath
come back to your body.
