To Regret or Not to Regret

Hi. So.

I've continued reflecting on the ideas for last week. About who you were is not who you are is not who you have to be. If you missed it, you can read it HERE.

It's led me toward what I see as an extension of the idea:

thoughts surrounding regret.

For quite some time, I've had this policy for myself that I choose not to regret things I've done in the past, because all of them have brought me to right here, now, this.

I do not take this to mean disavowing responsibility for hurt we've (I've) caused, or ignoring that there are things we (I) can keep doing better, or that 'no regrets' means 'everything I've ever done was super perfect.'

I mean, maybe that's you?!? You're awesome, so could be.

It's definitely NOT ME, THOUGH.

Buuuuuuuut. But. And.

I think about all those moments in my past, and I think of the eras of my life as past allisons, and I think of everything they went through, everything they were trying to be and learn and share...and I think

or more accurately I feel

that I would love to hold all those past allisons so tenderly.

I want to just love all up on them and hug them and say to them, oh you full and flawed and beautiful human, I know you tried and I know you were scared or you were hopeful or you were feeling whatever you were feeling, and I know you were doing your best, and it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them, and thank you for everything you went through that has allowed me as I am now to exist.

Does that make any sense???

Have you ever seen the interview that Oprah did with The Artist Formerly Known as Prince?

She asks: "Do you ever regret anything?"

And the answer is:

"No, because I think it's all part of the experience of life and growing. And it's gotten me to this place. You take one thing out of that and the structure falls, you know?P

The structure falls.

And i know the structure of you, right now, is so good and so ripe for goodness.

So can you just love all up on those past versions of you?

Can you offer past you support?

Maybe there was at time you needed strength and couldn't find it.

Can you offer some now?

Maybe there was a time you needed a hug and didn't get it.

Can you give it to yourself now?

Maybe there's something you need right now.

Can you ask for it?

Remember: a future you is looking back on this moment and offering you strength, support, love, and all the goodness they have.